He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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