She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
