Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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