Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Oh god it's open bar.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize