ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
