i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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