Where did you get a picture of my penis
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009