I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
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just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.