well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.