whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am