Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.