I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
