1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he thought i was a dude.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
