I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
