I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
