i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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