why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
