i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
