there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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