I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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