I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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