Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
