Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize