Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

well..are you winning?

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(732): i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head. (215): well..are you winning? http://tfl.nu/bl8w

Replies (24) Good night (1502) Bad night (552)
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(314): View more from Missouri

eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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(314): eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/8d45

Replies (26) Good night (963) Bad night (4674)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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(317): I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best. http://tfl.nu/9ej5

Replies (32) Good night (2874) Bad night (3161)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

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(617): The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke. http://tfl.nu/s0m0

Replies (13) Good night (2449) Bad night (1830)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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(203): That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa... http://tfl.nu/lw9n

Replies (7) Good night (2228) Bad night (890)
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(806): View more from Texas

When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?

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(806): When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7? http://tfl.nu/xrb5

Replies (9) Good night (2461) Bad night (1036)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up

(919): View more from North Carolina

which one looks the most like her?

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(704): help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up (919): which one looks the most like her? http://tfl.nu/a8tn

Replies (31) Good night (1382) Bad night (3530)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.

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(252): Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master. http://tfl.nu/donr

Replies (7) Good night (1119) Bad night (1783)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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(203): Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/gq2j

Replies (27) Good night (2733) Bad night (710)
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(619): View more from California

According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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(619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9

Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (393)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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(269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu

Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (550)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?

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(571): Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together? http://tfl.nu/mj4s

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (462)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

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(678): Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night http://tfl.nu/l7hl

Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (221)
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(618): View more from Illinois

ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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(618): ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/3dit

Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (292)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie

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(320): For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie http://tfl.nu/swy2

Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (248)

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