Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

Fav 9 1747 2536
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

Fav 4 1033 2113
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand

Fav 24 3004 764
share tweet
(719): View more from Colorado

I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

Fav 14 3899 1140
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

I don't even know why I got my vag waxed

(786): View more from Florida

Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.

Fav 25 1063 5383
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.

Fav 60 7719 1600
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.

Fav 9 2005 2800
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great

Fav 2 1005 445
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.

Fav 0 8 24
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT