Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
