Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
