so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
