I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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