worst night to have a conscience
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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