I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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