Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
