Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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