every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
