dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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