Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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