I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
