I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
