oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
now i know why i became what i already was.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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