This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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