He uses pillows to masturbate.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
