I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
