Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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