Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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