I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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