I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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