went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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