piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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