I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
