He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
