He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize