I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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