Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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