when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
