One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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