just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
