Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
