because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
