Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
